Lone Tree
5th Event of 2003 Season 
Saturday, March 8, 2003

There were 3 first-time occurrences for the club: 1). Mike Armstrong, played the wrong ball for two consecutive tournaments. (2-stroke penalty). 2). Bob Sternbach (pictured right, beard for the moment very tidy, void of crumbs and/or beer foam) earned his first-ever Double, a Silver Double, to be precise. This was also only his second-ever CTP. Bob's very first CTP (an epic moment to say the least), was a distance of 21'-2" and occurred on the 12th hole and in the fifth flight at Paradise Valley on April Fool's Day (coincidental?) of 2000. His distance at Lone Tree of 14'-7" showed an improvement by 6'-7". At this rate in 2006 he'll probably earn his third CTP with an impressive shot of 8'-0". The only thing that kept Bob from earning the lauded Golden Double, was Russ Greenwood's fiery net 66, a tournament low. By the way, Steve Desimone also earned his 16th career Double at Lone Tree. It was a Golden Double, his sixth. 3). Jack King turned in a scorecard with scores on 19 holes. It's improbable that a fella would have scored at that 19th hole for there were no women around the clubhouse (and certainly not 8!), just a bunch of tired, sweaty, beer-drinking guys. Jack King, although grizzled, is nevertheless a real charmer. Or rather, let's just be conservative and say that it's been known to happen, much in the same way trees are believed to produce sound while falling in the forest when nobody is there observing. Regardless, he was playing his first tournament since undergoing a third heart surgery and a heart needs to walk before it can run. No doubt in a few months Jack probably will "score eight" at the 19th hole.

Steve Desimone continued on his tear. He has placed 1st or 2nd in each of the first five events this season. This time he placed first. He did shoot an even par 72 (net 70) so we can't be too hard on him, right? Naw! He's a sandbagger. The worst sandbagger of the lot! Anyway, as stated, he earned his 6th golden double. The CTP was his 3rd all-time closest. At 3'-11", he's only hit closer twice, first with 3'-8" at Santa Teresa on February 8, 1992, next with 2'- 4 1/2" at Wente Vineyards on January 15, 2000. In the first five tournaments, Steve has placed second three times and fist twice. He just as easily could have won four of the first five events, having twice placed second only by a tie-breaker. At Las Positas he was 1.5 strokes behind Saul Geiser, the only member to have actually scored lower than Steve in any tournament this year (in the first flight, that is). During these five events Steve's net scores have been: 68, 37.5, 69, 67, and 70. Combined his tournament average is net 69.2.

Another odd occurrence took place at Lone Tree. Andrew Kang, receiving 13 strokes on the day, walked off the 6th green reeling after suffering an appalling quintuple-bogey "9". For all intents and purposes, he had the rest of the afternoon to make advancements on his bird-watching skills. After finishing his round, he said his good-byes and drove away thinking about the birds he saw (not "birdies"). Little did he know that the scores in the third flight would be so bad that he'd actually place third. 

In the news... We are currently "celebrating" the three year anniversary of NASDAQ's all-time high. On March 10, 2000, the nasdaq reached 5,132 before closing at a high of 5,048. Currently, the nasdaq is trading at 1,283. If three years ago you had $100 invested in the NASDAQ average, today you would have exactly $25. Too bad our golf indexes can't be so dramatically reduced.

Kelly Alvarez had the new club camera in tote and snapped this shot as well as a several others on this page. Here Bob Sternbach and Mark Dallow try to remember what it's like to grip a golf club.

Dave Webb watches intently as Mike Birnbach demonstrates the basic putting stroke. It seems so simple, so effortless...

Dave, however, does not understand, and continues using his side-saddle approach. 

Saul Geiser steadies for his opening drive. Joe Orenstein and Mike O'Neill mill around in the background.

Mike O'Neill has been "heading up" (so to speak) the visor headgear movement. Mike has long been at the forefront of this movement. The rising tide has captured the imagination of many members, who enjoy the freedom and comfort of a topless cap. The controversial trend is not without its detractors. Many feel that the traditional full cap is much more attractive and that the visor look is "too Dinah Shore, too LPGA". Visor wearers say it's nonsense. Look at the strides men have made over the years in footwear. Birkenstocks and clogs are no longer viewed with distain by the "Macho" segment of the male population. It's always been about comfort. Doubtless this controversy will continue to make headlines (so to speak). However, no one will likely convince Mike O'Neill and other visor-proponents to shelve their beloved visors.

Kevin Hillesland is also fond of the free-and-easy visor. Just look at that swing! He's so relaxed. Could it be the visor? Kevin shot an 86 (net 73) and  placed 2nd in the third flight, thanks, in part if not entirely, to his visor. 

Rob Simonds prefers the traditional cap. He hasn't yet been sold on the look presented by the visor. Rob, however, is already walking his own fashion tightrope. His shorts are a bit on the short side. It conjures images of the early to mid-1970's and sends many members into convulsions. Were Rob to add a visor it might fray some nerves. Certainly were Rob to begin wearing sandals and socks with the fluffy white balls dangling at the heels it would be too much, especially for our members with more conservative tastes regarding proper golfing attire.

These gentlemen would never be caught wearing socks with the fluffy white balls dangling on the heels. Yun Akinaga, Don Wade, and Jack King are part of the old Bear network, grizzled veterans living a nomadic and renegade lifestyle. At right is Ron Gallagher, a relative cub who was tossed into the rugged pack. Ron won the third flight CTP with a shot to 27'-1". This impressed the old Bears, who grunted before ransacking the next hole. By the way, it must be noted that Jack King is perhaps the club's original visor-proponent. It's always helped his game. Indeed, nobody posted a better score than did Jack on the 19th hole.

Don Wade was wearing a pink shirt, but we'll cut him a little slack because he at least had the decency to wear a sweater over it.

Ron Gallagher won the CTP at hole #5. 

Yun Akinaga takes a mighty swing.

Yun's approach at #15. Yun is one of the club's true heros! Oops! Did I say "heros"? I meant "gyros". You know, the Greek lamb sandwich. Yes, it's true. Yun is a sandwich.

"A sandwich is just a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal". Just look at that swing. Russ is a Manwich. Hunt's "Manwich" product comes in a can, but Russ is no canned meat product. Nay-sayers please step aside.

Nobody ever really thought deeply on it until now, but by shuffling a few letters around "Sternbach" transforms into "Sandwich". OK, I'll admit it. Lunch is on my mind. Nobody's really been noticing, but Bob Sternbach has been sneaking up on the Golfer of the Year award. Currently with 11 points, he sits alone in sixth place. Bob is one of only eight members who have played in every tournament this season. Bob's net 67 was the second lowest score of the day, and had he played in any flight other than the 5th flight, he would have placed 1st.

Kelly took several photos on the day. They were doubtless some of his best shots. Kelly is also on the elite list of eight members who have played in every tournament this season.

Scott Meredith shot a net 72 and placed 4th in the fourth flight. He won the CTP however with an impressive shot to 8'-4". Scott is also one of the eight members not to have missed any UCGC events this season.

Dave Rose played well, posting a 91(net 71) and placing 2nd in the fourth flight. Dave was edged out by Jeff Day, who shot a net 70.

New member Ryan Tabibian shows a lot of promise. To be more precise, Ryan shows a lot of promise to fatten the pocketbooks of fellow members. Watch out, Ryan. These guys are sharks!

Clem Shute is also one of our newer members. Clem plays from the opposite side of the ball and has the distinction of being the only guy in the club named "Clem". Is that a sandwich in his back pocket?

Bruce Flushman is also a relatively new member. Bruce is living out a lifelong dream of losing lots of money to his friends.

Hal Teasdale is a new member. He's living out a lifelong dream of winning as much money as possible from his friends.

New member Dave Wherritt gets a gold star for making the prestigious list of the eight members who have played in every event this season. Here Dave chips up at #2.

Ralph Hill shot an 86 (net 75) and placed 3rd in the second flight. After a 46 on the front, his 40 on the back came out of nowhere. He must have fueled up with a sandwich at the turn.

This is probably the best action shot to date we have of Dave Webb. Dave's swing is not a thing of great beauty, however it's quite effective. Oddly, in this picture, his swing doesn't look at all bad. The bucket cap, however, is another story. Also, that side-saddle putting thing. If Dave were a sandwich, he'd be a "Club Sandwich", a blend of several meat selections.

Van Hall demonstrates PERFECT ETIQUETTE here on #6. Van is in the Yellow cap and he's very interested in watching the putt of Mike Birmbach, because it is on the very same line. Note, however, that Van is not standing directly behind Mike. Van is about as close as one can stand and still remain within the code of etiquette. Van's positioning is about as close as Tiger Woods (or any other Pro) would ever stand to fellow competitor. 

Mike missed the putt low and so did Van,  but Van's integrity remained, as always, unblemished. Van is held in high-regard by his fellow club members for many reasons, of which the bright yellow cap is just one.

Kevin Sugawara hits his approach at #3. 

This is a nice photo. Ed Louie attempts a long putt at #3.

Greg Kramp just misses this putt from the fringe at #15. Saul Geiser politely holds the flag. Golf truly is a Gentleman's game.

Joe Orenstein on #15. Golf truly is a Gentleman's game.

Andrew Kang, Tom Furtado, and Jeff Day ham it up on the 4th tee. Please disregard all those earlier statement's about golf being a Gentleman's game.

Andrew unleashed one on #4. He's been a bit reluctant of late to pull out the driver, but Lone Tree was wide-open and he took on a devil-may-care attitude.

Andrew is one of the eight members to have played in every tournament this season. Here on #11 he watched with concern as the ball drifted near, but not into, a greenside bunker.

Walburg has also played in every event. Currently he's frustrated about having placed 4th in three of the last four events, losing each time by a single stroke. Aaron gets a gold star, well, just because. Look at the swing, and the short pants, heck, he deserves another gold star, and another. And one more for continuing to write in spite of his hunger for a sandwich.

This is a very cool photo of Tom Furtado. It's not a cool photo because of Tom Furtado, rather, it's a cool photo in spite of Tom Furtado being in it. Tom has recently upset the balance of nature. The proper order of things is such that newer golfers require years of painful struggle to perform at an equal level with their friends who have been playing for many years. 

Tom scored a par on the 11th hole. Tom has been outperforming his buddies, and frankly, it's disrespectful. 

Tom needs to ease up a bit and let his friends win so they don't feel so bad about their crumby games.

Jeff Day will cringe at seeing this "past horizontal" swing. The rest of us will cringe just because it's a picture of Jeff.

Jeff knows how to build drama for the gallery. Unfortunately there was no gallery, just a few friends patiently standing around...waiting...

Jeff looked great in his follow through on #15. Of course it was only a practice swing. His friends were, again, patiently waiting...

Jeff was all over the place Saturday. In fact the operator of this bull-dozer fled the scene with the engine still running after Jeff nearly killed him. Through it all Jeff somehow managed to place 1st in the fourth flight. Some things just don't make sense.

Gathered around the scoring table are Jerry Powell, Scott Meredith, Jeff Day, and Sam Scalise. Scott was dealt serious blows upon seeing Jeff's and then Sam's scores posted. Jeff bumped Scott from second place into third. Then, playing in the final group Sam's score bumped Scott into fourth. This is a brutal word.

Ken and Steve still smiling after a few hours of scoring. Steve hasn't missed any events this season. It's no wonder why he's smiling. After five tournaments he's not yet placed lower than second! This truly is a brutal word. And this season is providing a sandbagging display of historic and epic proportion!

Ed Louie posts his score in the setting sunlight. Ed Louie placed 4th in the third flight, losing in a tiebreaker, no less. It's really the most painful result imaginable. Still, one can't always expect to place when turning in a net 78.

Say "Cheese". Yes, and Bob Sternbach looks like the Cheshire cat that just ate a mouse. Bob scored a silver double, placing 2nd and winning the CTP in the fifth flight.

Ed Schriger, Kevin Hillesland, Rob Simonds, and Marty "Hot Pants" Connell gather round the 'ol watering hole. It had been a long day. A lot of things were said, a lot of strokes were taken. All in all, it was a good day, except for Marty's pink pants.

(By the way, just to round things off, Edgar Johnson (not pictured) is the only other member who has played in every event this season.)

Complete Flight Results:

Highlighted Results:

1st Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

2nd Flight

3rd Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

4th Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

5th Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

   2nd tie-breaker(L6 holes-1/3 CH):

Blind Bogey

   BB tie-breaker goes to lowest gross score:

(Results tabulated by Steve Desimone and Ken Lloyd)