Bennett Valley
6th Event of 2003 Season 
Saturday, April 5, 2003

Please don't feel sorry for these gentlemen. At least they have each other. Waiting at tee #6 are Jimmy Ikeda, Steve Obana, Ross Sakamoto, and Dan Copenhagen. Steve and Ross placed 4th in their respective flights. Both of them were edged out by a single stroke. Had he taken one less stroke Ross would have won a tie-breaker and placed 2nd. Ross had a fiery net 34.5 on the back nine.

With Steve and Ken both absent, board member Jim Peretti was running the tournament. Many members had reservations about this. Panic swept through the ranks and small children everywhere could be heard shrieking loudly and often. Thankfully, all of this anxiety was for naught. Jim had everything under control. In fact, dare we say, this was the most well-run tournament in the history of the club. New standards were set as members were treated to luxury on a scale never before seen at any other UCGC event. Jim personally attended to all of these details himself. The elegance was noticeable from the very first tee where, upon entering the tee box, one was overwhelmed by hundreds of tees which had been painstakingly placed at various heights and at various locations. Members had only to select their preferred tee, drop the ball, and swing away. It was brilliant. Jim repeated this ingenious marvel at each of the eighteen tee boxes. Jim's thoughtfulness didn't stop there. For added convenience Jim placed elegant dixie cups filled with sparkling mineral water at 5-foot intervals on every cart path. Members were delighted. The splendor didn't end at the 18th hole either, for upon completing their rounds, Jim treated members to a club-cleaning and body massage, before polishing their shoes and tallying their tournament scores. Every fifteen minutes Jim purchased a round of drinks for the house. All of these thoughtful extras were a big hit! When Steve and Ken return next month members will doubtless be expecting the same level of service which Jim has introduced.

Over the course of history, science has played host to a multitude of ghastly experiments.  These inexplicably horrifying experiments, based upon alchemy, astrology and other misguided beliefs seem now to strike squarely against modern-day, common sense. This is why it came as such a shock that an experiment so medieval was recently conducted at Bennett Valley, even though it all happened quite by accident. One couldn't help but notice that on the starting sheet, as things worked out, Mark Steppan, a solid first-flighter was paired with Russ Greenwood, Bob Sternbach, and Kelly Alvarez, all solid fourth-flighters. The big question was whom would influence whom? One would expect Mark's game to be impacted the most, and in a negative fashion. Not that these other gentlemen aren't the most upstanding members in the club, (which they aren't), but it would make sense that Mark's game would, through osmosis, take a relative nose-dive. The big surprise, however, was that the exact opposite occurred. Mark played an amazing round. He shot a 71 (net 65), which included on the back nine a 34! (-2, gross!) Mark was evidently not the least bit distracted by the occasional tops, shanks, and missed tap-ins of his fellow playing partners. Actually, there weren't as many of those mis-hits as usual, since the other three played very well. Bob Sternbach continued on his recent tear and after a 48 on the front, shot a 40 on the back! His net score of 68 gave him 1st place in the fourth flight as he edged two others tied at 69. Kelly Alvarez, for his part, turned in a very respectable 94 (net 70), and a 4th place finish. Although Russell Greenwood didn't fair as well in the "Mark Steppan osmosis department", he nevertheless maintained his dignity and broke 100. The results of this outlandish and controversial experiment are still being scrutinized and will likely never be free from bitter disagreements amongst historians and scientific experts. Another low score was the 75 (net 65) turned in by Robert Desimone. Robert's acquired somewhat of a bloated index with a steady diet of non-posted 9-hole rounds while playing on the high school on the golf team. Remember, as of July 1999, the NCGA requires that all 9-hole scores must be posted! Aside from his improved game, members noticed another few changes have happened since Robert's last UCGC tournament nine months ago. Instead of angling their heads slightly lower when looking at Robert, people were now angling their heads upward. Also, instead of tuning into the higher end of the sound-wave when listening to Robert speak, members had to adjust to lower waves. It was all a bit disorienting. Sam Scalise performed well on his home course. Sam lives directly across the street from Bennett Valley Golf Course. His 88 (net 72) captured the third flight.

Other funny things that happened:

As there was no tape measure at the CTP hole, Lloyd Creena scribbled down this winning and classic (yet primitive) measurement: "2 flagsticks less 1 divot tool"
In modern terms this converts to 13'-10".

Doubles

Lloyd Crenna had a Silver Double, placing second in the fourth flight and winning the CTP. It was Lloyd 3rd Silver Double and 7th career double. He's not yet ever had a Golden Double.

Fortune-Reversal Award

Bill Marchant wins the award for the tournament's greatest turnaround. After a 55 on the front he shot a 41 on the back. That's an improvement of over a stroke and a half per hole! He also won the CTP on #15 with an amazingly accurate shot to 2 flagpoles away from the hole.

Weather

The weather was unsettled and a bit chilly during the week prior to the tournament. On Wednesday and Thursday rain spread throughout the Bay Area. On Saturday morning, however, the day was perfect. It was about 60-degrees and sunny. Towards the afternoon it grew overcast. At times it became a bit chilly, yet the winds were relatively mild so it never became overly uncomfortable, even while clad in a t-shirt. And it never rained.

GOY race:

Last month we pointed out that Bob Sternbach was creeping up in the GOY standings. Bob hasn't missed an event all season and after placing 2nd last month, he placed 1st at Bennett Valley. This catapulted him from 6th to 2nd place! Watch out, Steve! Bob is on fire!

Bob Sternbach and Kelly Alvarez limber up on the range. Bob won his third ever UCGC tournament. The win bumped him into second place in the GOY standings.

The practice green was crowded with members frantically searching for remnants of their game. Due to long absences, some members had games which had fallen into a state utter disrepair. Moaning was common. A few members openly wept.

Other members had basically given up hope and opted to focus instead on the social aspects of the game. Clem Shute, Bruce Flushman, and Hal Teasdale barely swung a club before taking the first tee. Don Davis, however, was all business. 

Sam Scalise was also very business-like. This was his home course and he had to make a good showing. Sam did just that, winning the third flight. The locals were very appreciative. A small parade will likely be held in his honor. It's still unclear who will join Sam on his march through downtown Santa Rosa.

With Steve and Ken gone, Jim Peretti was the leader of this motley pack. He handled all the details, including making sure there was a flagstick in the 15th hole, so that members would be able to measure their CTP distances.

Jeff Hazel placed 3rd in the second flight. Jeff was donning a new look, with a western-style hat. Yee Haw!!! Giddy-up! All kidding aside, it seemed to work. Now get along little doggie, get along.

Mike Armstrong went with a more traditional look. Mike played a remarkably consistent round, 40 front and 40 back. He placed 4th in the first flight, however only one stroke away from a second place finish.

New member Dave Moers impressed the veteran members with his 38 on the front nine. He followed with a 39, and placed 2nd in the first flight.

Mike Birnbach won the CTP with a shot to 17’-6”. Mike also helped Jim with the scoring.

Robert Desimone is the only member to have grown a foot since his last tournament. Robert played last at Tilden Park, in July. His voice also changed, and his game is improved. Frankly, we’re wondering where the real Robert Desimone is.

Bill Marchant won the third flight’s CTP with a shot to 14’-0”. Bill also had the most roller-coaster round we’ve seen in a while, with a 55 on the front and a 41 on the back. 

Mike O’Neill’s improvement, front nine to back nine, wasn’t as impressive as Bill’s, but 46 to 41 isn’t too shabby. Mike’s son is currently operating a light-armored vehicle in Iraq. Everyone’s greatly appreciative of his service.

Saul Geiser had to cut out early, but he looked quite impressive up until that point.

Joe Orenstein always looks very impressive, except on the golf course.

Marvin Peixoto exudes confidence on the links, that is, when he’s munching on a turkey sandwich. Place a golf club in his hands and it’s another story.

A few new faces graced the club at Bennett Valley. Ryan Atkinson turned in a 2-over par 74. Hopefully Ryan can spice up the low gross results this season. The past twenty-eight major, low-gross events have been shared between only six members.

Ryan Robertson also will probably add diversity to the first flight. Ryan turned in an impressive 77. 

Brian Coburn just about came out of his shoes on the first tee. 

New member Steve Hong placed 2nd in the second flight. Steve is a web-savvy guy, and will one day perhaps help upgrade the web site.

Boyz II Men? Not quite. Try Boyz II Thugz: Todd Podall, Chad Carey, Jim Hall, and Dave Lozow. These guys are scary. Dave kept calling himself “Johnson”. “I’m Johnson. Don’t deny me my birthright!” Nobody understood. People just stayed clear and let him ramble on about his Johnson thing.

Mark Siegel, Chris Brown and Ed Louie calculate strokes for the day’s bets. Sure, taxes are due in 10 days, but this is what really matters.

Ross Sakamoto on the third hole. Like Mike Armstrong, Ross placed 4th, but missed second place by only one stroke. Such finishes make for a long drives home.

Steve Obana also finished fourth. Why does anyone ever have to finish fourth? It’s just not fair.

Scott Meredith with a nice-looking approach at #4.

Paul Higaki pulled a rabbit out of a hat on the 3rd hole, as he bounced one over the bunker from this difficult position.

Chris Maters gave a sort of Arnold Palmer gaze at his shot on #6. The shot had a Palmer-esque result as well, for his ball landed on the green, about 15-feet below the pin. Everyone was speechless. Blind squirrels do find nuts. It's a common belief, but nobody had ever actually witnessed it before. People looked at one another incredulously. Most skeptical of all was Chris, who, upon opening his eyes, refused to believe the ball on the green was his own.

We were going to get an action shot of Ed Biglin on number six, however, after 2 minutes the camera automatically shuts off, so we had to go with a shot of Ed mid-way through his pre-shot routine. The club’s most lengthy pre-shot routine is really a toss up between Ed Biglin, Scott Meredith, and David Lee. Perhaps one day they’ll get paired together and have some sort of endurance contest, a battle royal for patience. It would have to take place during the summer at a course in Alaska.

Tom Furtado follows his putt on #3. 

Tom’s approach on #4. Tom was hammering his drives all day. His short game was the only thing holding him back. 

Yoch Lin was also held back by only one part of his game, his swing. All Yoch needs to do is change everything about his swing and he’ll see marked improvement in his game.

Jeff Day missed this 6-footer on #7. Jeff had a barbeque to attend and cut out after the 12th hole. Interestingly, his playing partners all pared the 13th hole. Too bad Jeff didn’t cut out after the first hole.

With Ken and Steve absent, Aaron was able to don his lucky Tiger Woods shirt. As a result, he placed 2nd in the third flight. (Let’s not forget that red is a color in the US flag!)

Ed Louie on #17. Ed was playing in the bunched-up third flight where six players finished within two strokes of first place. (Did you follow that?) Ed finished in a tie for 4th.

Martin Kitchener encountered a tremendous obstacle on the 14th hole: His legs were so white, and so exposed, that it was difficult for him to withstand the glare and spot the ball, which lay at his feet. The other members of his foursome followed his progress, squinting. Dave Wherritt, who recently joined the club, was in awe. "I couldn't see a thing. I don't know how he pulled it off.". Scott Meredith minimized retinal damage by using the clever tactic, "I focused on the shadows". Even Jerry Powell, who wears tinted lenses, was overwhelmed. "It was like staring at the sun", he later remarked. True to his scientific background, Jerry continued, "There are no nerve endings in the eyes. Hopefully the damage won't be substantial." Martin bravely faced his own glare and pulled off the shot at #14. It was an all-day battle however, and it's no small wonder that nobody from this foursome placed.

Ron Gallagher hit a nice drive on #16. The fairways were tighter than our average course. Those who could hit fairways scored better.

Mark Steppan scored the best. His 1-under par 71 (net 65) was the day’s most impressive round. Mark was not the least bit distracted by the antics of Larry, Moe, and Curly.

aka Bob, Russ, and Kelly. Whether you think of them as the three amigos or the three stooges, you gotta love ‘em. Actually, you don’t really have to love them. Just respect their god-given right to flail about on the links.

Bob Sternbach caught fire on the back nine with his 40 (net 30!) on the back nine. 

Russ did well in spite of a restrictive knee brace. If Russ were in ballet, they'd probably have to cancel his performance. Luckily, there's nothing graceful about his swing.

On #17, Bob Sternbach tries discretely to catch a read on Russ' putt.

Meanwhile back in the clubhouse Jim was confidently churning on the score cards.

Jim is a scoring machine; He’s fueled by beer.

Lloyd Creena checks the status of his position in the fourth flight. Lloyd would place 2nd behind Bob Sternbach. He also won the CTP. 

Charles Lee flashes his impressive $10 paycheck for taking 3rd place in the third flight.

Dave Webb won the CTP, however, he hasn't had a 1st place finish since November of 1999. The purchase of this dog head-cover seemed to be the right move. It'll bring about a much-needed change in his game and usher in a whole new era.

Chad Carey, Jim Hall, and Dave Lozow with a game of liar’s dice (how appropriate) while enjoying beer and Syracuse vs. Texas in the final four. Syracuse, the underdog, won 95-84. Two days later, still the underdog, they beat Kansas 81-79 for the national championship.

Complete Flight Results:

Highlighted Results:

1st Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

2nd Flight

3rd Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

4th Flight

   1st tie-breaker(L9 holes-1/2 CH):

Blind Bogey

(Results tabulated by Jim Peretti, Mike Birnbach, and Robert Desimone)