Chardonnay (Vineyards Course)
13th Event of 2003 Season 
Saturday, September 13, 2003

Scott Meredith tracks his chip shot at #7. Scott's foursome had the roughest day, as no one managed to break 100.

Although winds were down, temperatures were up and so were the scores at Chardonnay. The temperature probably peaked at 99-degrees. It wasn’t very humid, but the water-stations at every other hole sometimes seemed too infrequent. The course played tough. There were several factors: the heat (as mentioned), the very difficult greens, the length of the holes, and the fact that it had been 14 years since we’d played at Chardonnay. By the 3^rd hole we were already thinking net par would be a terrific score.

Walburg was the most obvious and most annoying obstacle prior to the first tee. He was handing out campaign objects (flyer & tees) on the driving range and making a general nuisance of himself. On the practice green Jeff Day remarked dryly, “Aaron, I don’t remember you ever laughing so loudly at other people’s jokes.” Aaron evidently found this comment uproariously funny, as he tipped his cap and laughed even louder at Jeff's very witty remark, which he didn't understand. But that didn’t matter. Boy, that Jeff. He's sure something else!

All the members at this event were extremely well-dressed and displayed flawless etiquette. They were charming and witty and one could not help but be absolutely mesmerized by their charismatic presence. Yet our members were nevertheless very kind and helpful to those less fortunate. They were also ecologically sensitive. It was reported that one member provided first aid to and injured sapling by applying a tourniquet made of recycled bicycle tires. He then cleverly shaded the tree for several minutes, giving it respite from the sun's glaring and oppressive rays. Another member reportedly saved the life of a baby hummingbird using cardiopulmonary resuscitation and a Duracell "AAA" battery. Our members are perhaps the most intelligent, resourceful, and kind people on the planet. The golf too, was stunning! Nobody made a bad shot, at least none worthy mentioning here. Mention here would not do proper justice to the phenomenal display of golfing talent our members so effortlessly wielded. Members were also extremely reserved and well-tempered. Nobody threw any clubs or exhibited even a remote sign that they were having anything less than a perfectly peachy time. Our members were exceptional on this day and should applaud themselves for their greatness. In fact it really wouldn't be stretching the truth to say that each one of our members is a true hero. Each and every member is worthy of admiration and tremendous praise for their amazing talents, good deeds, and flawless character. Yes, our members are a very select and distinguished group of highly intelligent, golfing humanitarians. And there’s little more that can be reported on this humble web site.

As mentioned, due to the hot weather the scores at Chardonnay were high. Only two players, Mark Siegal and Gary Vollen managed to break net par, each shooting a net 71. Jeff Bordalampe won the first flight shooting a net 72. The next two best net scores were 74's turned in by Mark Northfield and Elliott Zeller. All other scores were net 76 and above.

There were also high scores turned in by front-runners in the Golfer of the Year competition. Steve Desimone is leading the race by two points, but he had a head cold and turned in a net 85. Kelly Alvarez, recent winner of the second flight's Eddie Reed tournament, turned in a net 82, and made no inroads on Steve's lead. Dave Lozow was a mysterious no show. (Actually it was soccer picture day with his son and he coached a soccer game afterwards.). Steve Obana, another GOY leader was also unable to play, primarily because he's soon going to be a father. Aaron Walburg played the worst round of his UCGC career, net 96, and also failed to make any headway. Scott Meredith and Bob Sternbach also failed to place. The only three players who advanced in the GOY race were Chad Carey, who placed 2nd in the first flight (with a net 76), Rick Guevara who placed 3rd in the second flight (also with a net 76), and Russell Greenwood who placed 3rd in the third flight, with, what else, net 76. All three players are in the running for Golfer of the Year, but each would need to win at the Club Championship.

HIGH SCORES

This was one of the highest-scoring events of all-time, and only the 5th time ever in which 4-over net par placed in all flights for a given tournament. Ironically, Chardonnay served as a former location for an earlier occurrence. The occurrences of such a feat are:

Here in California we like our politics to be as bass ackwards as everything else. Currently we're in the midst of a recall election which will cost our already crippled state another several million dollars. The fiasco makes clear how corrupt our politicians really are. The only plus side is that we each get to receive one of these highly complicated election ballots. Click on the picture above to see our official ballot in full size.

Walburg's campaign was equally odious and also hinged on the absurd with 2,000 tees and promises of beer. Unconfirmed rumors abounded that large sums of cash were changing hands.

Half of the tees contained the sublime, "Vote Aaron Walburg fore Club President". The other half were void of all campaign references and much more palatable to the members, "U.C. Golf Club, www.ucgc.org, Go Bears!!!"

Ralph Hill found a a $100 bill on the practice green.

Ralph didn't appear overly excited, but casually pocketed the c-note and continued putting.

Jerry Powell does some trigonometry on the practice green. The greens definitely called upon higher math to figure them out.

On the range Steve was telling a story about son Robert in his first few weeks at college. Robert is studying hard and hardly has any time for fun. He wishes he were still living at home and didn't have to endure al the freedoms associated with living 2,000 miles away.

Steve was using, what else, a new driver. This time it was a new Cobra driver with a heavier shaft for more blah blah effect which made it more blah blah. Steve is in the cat-bird seat with regard to the Golfer of the Year race. He's got a 2-point lead. It could be a wire to wire victory, because Steve's hottest play was at the beginning of the season, where he placed 1st or 2nd in each of the first five events.

Jim Peretti was still excited about the driver he snapped up from Ken Lloyd. It also had lots of blah blah and he seemed to enjoy hitting balls with it, which seemed to travel quite far.

Jeff Hazel wore his trademark panama(?) hat. Unlike most of us out there, Jeff actually looks good in hats. Jeff tied with Jeff Bordalampe for the lowest round of the day (83). His net score tied for third, but was edged out by Dave Moers.

Russell Greenwood was working out some kinks on the range. It evidently worked ok, because his net 76 earned him a third place finish in the third flight.

Dave Wherritt does a Babe Ruth on the driving range. Unfortunately there were no fences to reach, nor was anyone watching him. Nobody really cared weather or not he was motioning a prediction that his ball would carry an imaginary fence for an imaginary home run during an imaginary game of the world series. Dave is a visionary though. He does a lot of traveling to New York City, and perhaps these are a few of the many thoughts he has while waiting in airport terminals.

Kelly Alvarez recently captured the second flight in the Eddie Reed Match Play tournament. He beat defending champ Scott Meredith 2-up at Paradise Valley on August 24th. The 2 points earned in the match helped position Kelly well in the Golfer of the Year standings. He's in second place going into the final event, 2 points behind Steve Desimone.

Gary Vollen tied for the day's lowest net score, 71. He easily won the third flight. The course was playing difficult on this day and there were only two sub-par scores. The other, was by Mark Siegal.

Rick Guevara turned in a net 76 and still managed to place third by three strokes in the second flight. Only four of the 12playerds in that flight broke net 80.

Chad Carey's net 76 in the first flight earned him a 2nd place finish. Its very rare that a net 76 ever earns second place. It's probably only happened a dozen times during the entire history of the club. Chad's blistering 38 on the front nine was the best 9-hole score for either side.

Kevin Hillesland also shot a high score, but he didn't win any prizes.

Marty Connell tracks a ball on the range. Marty placed fourth in the second flight. NOTE: no wig or pink clothing.

Mark Siegel turned in an impressive 8 (net 71), and claimed his first-ever UCGC win. Mark won the second flight by three strokes over Mark Northfield.

Ron Ablaza has been a member of the club since June of 2001. This was his first-ever tournament. Everyone was quite ecstatic to finally meet him. That is, until they saw his swing. After that he was much less popular. The crowd quickly dispersed.

Here Ron was picking gunk of his cleats. Hey, what do you expect? We've got a lot of photographic catching up to do...

Ron's first ever shot in a UCGC event. It will be one of many, on the first hole...

Marty Connell has retired the pink clothing. Moreover, his buddies told him he couldn't wear pink unless he lowered his index below 10.0. This is very good news for the rest of us.

Here's Marty on the 9th hole. He would earn par here.

Louis Sanchez had a fairly good showing in the Blind Bogey Flight. He placed third and won the CTP. Louis might want to borrow Marty's wig next time though.

Kevin Hillesland parred the testy opening hole.

Marty has a cool-looking swing. Why can't more of us look good out there? We're such a hodge-podge of ugly swings. It's embarrassing.

Ron Ablaza holds nothing back. He's always swinging for the fence. Kind of like Dave Wherritt.

Speaking of embarrassing, who dressed these guys? Bob Diaz, Ralph Hill, and Mark Dallow on the first tee. No wonder there are so few women in the club. These guys are screaming for a stylist.

Bob with his opening drive.

On #16 Bob drained this 25-footer for an impressive bogey.

Ralph measures his winning CTP at 20'-3" on #16, however, Edgar Johnson's shot to 8'-1" went on to win it for the first flight.

Ready to make some grape-juice with their wayward shots are Mike Hearn, Clem Shute, Hal Teasdale, and Bruce Flushman.

Chris Brown on #6. Chris' drive threaded the needle, between the vineyards and the bunker.

Rick Guevara and Mark Siegel follow Dave Wherritt's drive on #6.

Rick Guevara tees off on #6.

Bob Sternbach with a delicate chip on #9. Bob's in the hunt for GOY glory.

Rory McDonough with his approach at #17. Rory's always as cool as a cucumber. He and Dave Webb are the two members who best keep their emotions in check, a very admirable trait.

Jerry Powell makes solid contact on this shot at the par 5 third hole. The third hole is not easy. Only 11 golfers managed par, while 15 made triple-bogey or worse.

At the famous 5-tiered 4th hole green Jerry Powell tries to figure out how to putt the ball such that it has about 60-degreesof loft. Jeff Day saved him however, by pointing out that the score card said that if the fringe was between your ball and the hole, you could take relieve on the fringe. Basically it means, "Don't ruin our greens by using lob wedges on them."

Jerry striking a fine pose on #5. He didn't strike the ball too well, but the pose was dandy. Poses get you a long way in this club.

Scott Meredith was playing with the real hackers today. In fact, he was one of them. The fearsome foursome Day/Meredith/Powell/Walburg combined for 425 strokes. They were all playing in the second flight and of the 12 players in that flight they placed 8th, 9th, 11th, and 12th.

Scott peels of a fairway wood on #3.

Scot peeled some grapes on #13. I hate to say it, but he skulled this shot badly and it went straight into the vineyard.

Jeff fit right into this foursome as he hacked it up in bold style.

Jeff had a look of concern here on #9.

On the par 3 12th hole Jeff hit bottom, literally. In fact he did so several times in this charming ravine.

Jeff Day assesses his tragic situation on #16. Jeff had many such situations on this day. It just wasn't Day's day. He was playing as if in a daze.

Here on #18 lady luck finally smiled down on poor Jeff. He earned the most ugly par possibly in the history of the club. Off the tee his ball looked to be OB, pushed into the vineyards. Somehow it came to rest in bounds, but only by mere inches. His next shot was thin and also pushed, it appeared to go OB, but then landed here, again inches from OB. He pushed his third shot which landed on the 9th tee box. From there he hit an amazing flop shot onto the green and sunk the 12-footer for par. Everyone was astonished. "Par? Are you sure?". Jeff was proud and equally stunned.

Walburg led the tournament wire-to-wire in terms of pure hacking. Here on #1 he twice returned to the tee after hitting his initial drive OB, then losing drive number two in a patch of tall grass. The third attempt was a charming 5-iron sculled safely down the middle. He eventually succumbed to a 9-over (13) opening and continuing onto a net 51 on the front nine. The final tall (net 96) was the best bad score of the day.

Walburg recounts his opening hole experience thusly:
"On the tee I hit my opening drive OB, then returned to the tee to hit an air ball into some weeds which I lost. I was running wildly around the teeing area. I returned the third time and skulled a 5-iron. I was winded, running. I'd abandoned all dignity as well as any hopes of winning anything. The only bright spot was that while watching him prepare for his third tee shot Elliott Zeller said after that display, I had his vote. Everyone standing around had a good laugh at that remark. I quickly and with utter disregard for results played out the hole taking a 13, I may have lost the tournament on that hole but I won a vote!"

But the grapes were pretty.

Zinfandel Grapes. They were delicious.

Walburg got some sort of a chemical high from the pesticide-coated grapes. The grapes were perfect-looking. They had an odd taste to them though, which induced vomiting and brought on hallucinations. This didn't discourage him. His game, however, sure took a nose dive. He posted a 112; His worst-ever UCGC round of golf. (btw - we spoke with the marshal beforehand, who said tasting grapes was ok)

Beering it up after a very hot day on the links are Edgar Johnson, Chad Carey, Don Presser, Rick Guevara, and Dave Wherritt.

Steve Desimone played in spite of a cold. Jim Peretti kept Steve company at the scoring table, so it was like a double-whammy for poor Steve.

Complete Flight Results: